I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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