Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
