Don't make out with my wife yet
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
