There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
