I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
