Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How external is "for external use only"?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
