I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
