Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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