He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
