she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
why is half of my head shaved?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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