Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
