I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
