i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
