If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
