IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
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