He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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