He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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