ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
