better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
