She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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