It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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