Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
