Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
well you can't waste a boner
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
