I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
