i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I think people are normalizing furries
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
