just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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