im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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