No stitches, just platelets and will power
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
