i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
