if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Everclear isn't food dammit
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
