your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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