return my video game
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
