Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry mrhalfandhalf hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(509): View more from Washington

Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.

Fav 19 4456 696
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?

Fav 19 1123 6197
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(618): View more from Illinois

You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs

Fav 6 3760 1230
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.

Fav 22 6826 1779
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.

Fav 1 755 996
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.

Fav 5 2730 805
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment

Fav 5 1081 570
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji

Fav 5 168 84
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(269): View more from Michigan

the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.

Fav 0 30 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT