I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
