yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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