I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
