we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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