On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
