sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
