Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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