i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
