Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
