Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
