Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
