remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
