sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
