Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
