Plan B is the new Plan A
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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