My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
