Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
